Focus on the Good

I am glad the new year begins during winter. Living in the Midwest with our cold, frigid temperatures can make it challenging to stay upbeat and positive; it can be a struggle not to get in a depression and get stuck there. But there is something about the simple act of taking down an expired calendar and replacing it with a fresh new one, that is akin to wiping the slate clean. Just pondering the possibilities of what lies ahead can be exciting. Only God knows what’s around the bend for each of us, and His word tells us it can be full of good things:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Is 43:18-19 NIV)

I love how these verses start with a command to “forget”. God doesn’t want us to dwell on the past. While He expects us to learn from our mistakes, He doesn’t want us stuck in them. (That includes dwelling on the mistakes made by others.) By the time we get to the end of a year we can feel bogged down by all the negative stuff that has accumulated. However, a New Year can give us a much needed lift, a new outlook with creative fresh ideas.

Actually, if we were to resolve to make just one small change in our thinking this year, it could make a world of difference in our life. For instance, what if we were to focus on the good, asking God for His perspective every time life doesn’t go our way? Instead of getting angry that someone cuts us off in traffic, for example, what if we asked God for His perspective instead? We just might hear God whisper something to us like: maybe they recently found out they have cancer; or, maybe their spouse just informed them they want a divorce; or, maybe their child was just convicted of a crime. These life-changing tragedies happen to people every day, rocking their world and causing them to have a tough time with simple acts like driving.

So, what if for this upcoming year we resolved to simply be more patient and understanding with “the other guy”? How might that one small habit change our life? Personally, I’m choosing that theme for my focus this year. Every year God gives me a theme tucked inside a verse. This year, I’m sensing it should be from Ephesians, Chapter 1, “that the eyes of my heart might be enlightened”, so that I can focus on the good.

That’s not to say I will ignore those things that need dealt with, but that I want to choose to see situations through the eyes of my heart. I want to simply pause and ask myself what the other guy might be going through.

What peace might be ours if we were to allow our hearts to be governed by the “Prince of peace” this year?

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe (Ephesians 1:18-19).

Learning to Laugh at the Days to Come

Every winter I feel it coming on. As soon as the first threats of a winter storm are announced by the media, I tense up. My heart starts beating a little faster and I can feel the blood coursing thru my veins. Momentarily paralyzed, I catch myself holding my breath as a slight twinge of fear attempts to overtake me.

Ugh… winter. It’s definitely for kids.

(Pic is of my son, Chase, and daughter-in-law, Elizabeth, when they were dating in 2003. Our 160 year old farmhouse is in the background.)


I know the weathermen need to prepare us, but the sense of urgency in their voice and the constant repetition of each impending snowstorm doesn’t help calm me down, rather it gets me down. While I do appreciate their informative reminders of how to drive in the snow (along with the importance of having a full tank of gas in the winter), their warnings sometimes make me not want to leave my house at all—for days.

Also, in the winter we hear more doom and gloom about the previous year’s statistics and the poor economy. This includes everything from the rise and fall of gas prices, to the cost of bacon going down and the price of milk going up. And our taxes need computed in the winter, too, which can be depressing. The bottom line is—there is always something to get in a tizzy over. There is always something to fuss and worry about. You would think, however, the older we get the more we’d realize: Most of what we dread never happens.

How much time and energy do we waste worrying about things that never transpire? How often do we let the enemy steal our peace and joy, over…what?

So for this year I want to set some different goals. Besides my ongoing aspirations of getting healthier and more organized, I want to learn to fear less and laugh more. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, who “is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come,” I want to aspire to be more like that. This means I need to be prepared physically and mentally. When we are properly equipped it makes us stronger and more able to face adversity. Part of being physically fit is so that we can perform the duties God has assigned to us. And dignity means knowing who we are in Christ—living our life on purpose, with intent and integrity to glorify our King.

Yes, it is wise to be prepared. Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest (Proverbs 6:6-8). However, don’t let yourself get bogged down by the threat of possible doom. Instead, keep first and foremost in the front of your mind whose you are. Then you will know…The joy of the Lord is our strength, (Nehemiah 8:10).

What Do I Know to be True?

A few weeks ago, I wanted to take a quick break from writing and decided to turn on the television while cleaning up the kitchen. Seldom do I sit down to watch TV during the day, but sometimes I’ll turn it on to listen to my favorite uplifting programs. As I went to change the channel from the news station that my husband had been watching before leaving for work, I noticed the “Breaking News” headline.

Oh, no, another shooting—this time involving several young children.

I had to sit down.

Numb with sadness over the evil in this world, I struggled to process this latest senseless tragedy. In an attempt to come full circle, I asked aloud the same question I had asked myself following every tragedy since the death of my teenage stepson in 1994:

What do I know to be true?

Asking myself that simple question in relationship to God and His truth, has always gotten me through. Eighteen years earlier, while attending grief counseling with Joe, the Christian counselor who helped me cope after the sudden death of my stepson, Conan, Joe had challenged me to memorize Philippians 4: 6-7. It was then that I developed the habit of asking myself that question about God: What do I know to be true about You in the midst of this tragedy? When tragedies occur (which, sadly, they always have and they always will this side of heaven), what truth can we cling to about the Lord and His promises?

For starters, we know that God is not the author of evil; rather, He is the author of love. Some might argue that it was evil of God to allow His Son to be mistreated and to die a horrible death on the cross, but the truth is, it was out of God’s great love for mankind that He allowed His Son to carry the full weight of our sin so that we might have eternal life in Him. That’s costly, extravagant, mind-blowing love.

I know, too, that God promises to work evil out for good, for those who are His children—those who are the “called” and who know His voice and long to do His will. Even the painful death of a loved one can bring forth goodness. During times of bitterness grudges can drop by the wayside as people come together and unite in their shared grief. Many hardened hearts have cried out to the Lord in their anguish and found Him to be true to His word.

I also know that God gives us free will; we make our own choices. We cannot control the heart of another, we can only choose, with God’s help, to keep our own heart pure. Almost two decades ago I realized it was up to me to choose to begin each day in prayer and in God’s Word. Reading the Bible helps to protect our mind and guard our thoughts. There is power in God’s word.

Finally, I know to be true that God will never leave me or forsake me. Even during heart-wrenching grief, He is my comforter—my ever present help in time of need. He has proven Himself, over and over again. He is trustworthy.

God wants to be your “truth”, too. He longs to comfort you during your painful times and be the mender of your broken heart. But first, you must give Him all the pieces.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…” (Psalm 46:1-2).

In His Truth,
Connie

The Peace of God

I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I had been so jumpy and nervous, and with each passing day it worsened. Ever since the tragic death of my seventeen-year-old stepson, a few months earlier, I had been going through the motions and feeling anything but alive.

My husband and I had two children of our own. It felt as if my grieving family was directing all their anger at me, making it even more difficult to cope with my own despair. Thoughts of divorce and even suicide, constantly plagued my mind.

I used to wonder how the death of a child could destroy a marriage. I assumed the thread of common agony would bring a couple closer together, and their shared grief would build a bridge instead of a wall. Instead, the anger over our loss had begun to poison our relationship. When one wanted to talk, the other didn’t. Communicating with anyone, including each other, was very difficult.

One day at work, after hanging up the phone from yet another argument with my husband, I desperately whispered aloud, “Dear Lord, help me.”

Suddenly, I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see my cousin, Jay, who worked nearby. In a comforting voice, Jay asked if I needed help, and then offered the number of a friend—a Christian counselor named Joe.

During my first visit with Joe my tears flowed effortlessly as I poured out my torment to a stranger schooled in listening to hearts. Before long, he nailed it. “How much time are you spending in the Bible?” he asked.

The Bible? I just told him I was having trouble focusing on anything, especially reading.

“God’s Word has tremendous power. And, you don’t need to read much for it to help,” he said, as if he read my mind. Handing me a piece of paper, his eyes met mine. “I want you to look up these two scripture verses and memorize them.” Neither of us blinked.

I had been a strong Christian prior to my stepson’s death, but between the weight of the grief and my own anger at God, I had stopped having my quiet time with the Lord. Even though I continued to attend worship services, I was going through the motions there, too.

When I returned home, armed with the verses in hand, I looked them up and slowly read them out loud. “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” It was Philippians 4:6-7.

I had to break the words down, meditating on just a few at a time, but with each reading I felt as if a soothing balm was being lovingly massaged directly into my heart. Gradually, an amazing transformation began to occur. As I spent more time in the Word, I returned to prayer. Then the fog in my mind began to clear, sound sleep returned, and the heavy pain slowly subsided.

With God’s help I began crawling out of that deep, dark cave that my soul had been choking in for so many months. I became more patient and loving with my family, too, praying out loud with them again, infusing hope and comfort in their hurting hearts, as well.

I realized how close I had come to almost allowing the enemy to destroy my marriage, or even my life. God had divinely intervened; first through Jay and then with Joe, but mostly through the power of His Word. Christ is the light at the end of the tunnel. Our part is to turn to, and trust in, Him alone.

Wishing you peace,
Connie

Time Well Spent

“I’ve been offered a part-time job,” my friend, Linda, said in a tone that was more questioning than matter-of-fact. “But, I’m not sure what to do.”

Recently widowed and retired, Linda was still very active, both mentally and physically. She liked staying busy and had excellent secretarial skills; I assumed this job would be perfect for her. But, Linda went on to share that she had gotten used to her freedom, and while she could use the money, she could get by without it.

I said a quick prayer for wisdom before responding to her. Having been home writing for several years, I loved setting my own hours; arising early in the morning to write if I knew I had something else going on during the day. Sure, I could find a “real job” that paid better, but I knew I was doing what God called me to do. Plus, this flexibility had allowed me to spend more time with my aging parents, both of whom were around seventy.

Linda’s parents were even older and she was very close to them. We had a short discussion of the pro’s and con’s of going back to work, even just part-time, when suddenly I made a statement that I didn’t realize would make all the difference: “I’ve never regretted the extra time I had to spend with my dad, especially since he passed so unexpectedly.”

Those few years prior to my father’s passing, he and I had lunch together several times, which included lots of long talks about the past. One day, Dad accompanied me on the two hour trip to Ohio University to see my son. Dad and I had a great day together; even talking about the Lord, which Pops was never comfortable with. I didn’t pressure him, I simply shared my faith.

Dad quietly responded with, “I’m not ready to do that yet, but… don’t give up on me.”

I didn’t. And more importantly, God didn’t.

Unknown to dear ole Pops, his response had lit a fire in me to “pray without ceasing” for him (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I prayed daily for dad to come to the Lord and put his name on the prayer chain at my church, too.

Then, just two short years after our OU trip, I got the horrible call that dad’s aorta had suddenly burst—he had only hours to live. I arrived in time to remind Pops of our conversation—how the Lord had not given up on him. I told Dad to squeeze my hand if he was ready to ask Jesus into his heart—thankfully he squeezed hard.

Linda knew all about this, because…she had been married to my dad. She had witnessed over the years the seeds planted in his heart for Jesus. After dad passed, she rededicated her life to the Lord. Then just this year, she learned her father had only months to live. Linda was able to spend time caring for her dad and sharing her faith in private conversations with him. A few weeks before he passed, Linda’s father asked Jesus into his heart. He even went on to share his faith with his family before leaving this earth.

Sometimes the enemy tries to convince us that we need to make more money, or that we simply don’t have the time to invest in others. But in actuality, our time is a gift from God. One day we will stand before Him alone and give an account of how we spent it. Spend it well—for Him.

“But seek ye first the Kingdom of God…” (Matthew 6:33).

Seeking,
Connie