My
life has changed this past year. Inspirational writing and prison ministry
involvement have taken a back seat to being home for my husband. As with any
stage 4 terminal diagnosis, it immediately becomes a very surreal journey. Every
morning the brevity of this life smacks you in the face, as does the fragility
of our bodies. Throughout each day there are new struggles; including emotional
battles to overcome as you reflect on who this person used to be and prepare
yourself for even more declines to come. It’s a delicate dance to be a step
ahead of the inevitable changes in them, to assist physically as well as
mentally; and remain encouraging throughout. They (understandably) long to keep
as much independence as possible, for as long as possible. Staying focused on
their care makes it easy to forget that you need to keep yourself strong and healthy,
not knowing how long this final chapter together will be....
My husband would live 2 ½ more months after that
writing. One of my constant prayers during his illness was that I would be
strong enough to care for him until the end, and that neither one of us would
get sick, not even a cold. Lots of faithful prayer warriors prayed the same and
God honored our prayers. I can look back now with a very grateful heart. Every
concern that we took to the Lord, He heard and answered. During that season of caregiving my husband was repeatedly concerned about who would take care of me in my future time of need. I always responded with the truth, “I’m not worried about it. God will provide.” (Gen. 22:8)
And now one year later, I have been in need many,
many times. Most of the needs have been small, but a few have been biggies. And
guess what? God was with me for each and every one! From great friends who took
care of my dogs when I needed to be away, to caring neighbors who mowed my
grass, to loving family who cared for me, to good friends from church who
installed some security measures and brought homemade soups when I was sick; time and time again each need has been
met. And when moments of loneliness or waves of grief came, the God of all
comfort was there.
Our Lord is faithful. He is a husband to the widow, and a
trusted friend to all of His children.
The widow who is really in need and left all
alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God
for help. (1 Timothy 5:5)
